Taking a day

Monday I will be taking a day off work to attend a workshop with a colleague of mine. I don't like taking a day off work anymore. I used to look forward to laying out of work a few years ago and planned for it accordingly. I would wake up and decide I just did not feel like working, pick up the phone and make up some excuse for being absent. Not anymore.

Teaching means a lot to me. I enjoy going in and getting materials ready. Standing in front of a classroom of kids, knowing that they are looking to me for answers and knowledge, excites my intellect. When I do not attend, I feel that I am letting them down. I know that one day is not going to permanently stunt their educational growth, but that's one day they lose direct input from me.

I also worry that the substitute will not be kind to my kids, will not follow what I want the kids to accomplish, and will find that my classroom routines are not up to their expectations. I guess you could say I am a control freak. I know the lady that will be substituting for me Monday. I know that she will treat my kids fairly, but the rest is up for grabs.

Another reason that I hate taking a day is the work that must be done to take a day. I spent 4 hours Thursday preparing lessons and materials for the substitute to use. I used to be a substitute and I hated to walk into a classroom, where I did not have a clue what was going on. My substitutes should never have that problem.

I write out detailed lesson plans that include time, subject and word for word instructions for the lesson. I place all materials in a file folder and lay them on my desk, so they have no problem finding them. They never have to open my lesson planner and try to decipher them, everything is typed, edited, and laid out in time sequence order. I always list two to three students that know what is going on to help with activities and include lunch and bus duties that need to be followed. AGAIN! A CONTROL FREAK!

After all of this pre-planning, I should feel comfortable right. Wrong! I will continue to worry till I walk in Tuesday and read the note left by the substitute telling me how Monday went. I will also ask my students what they did, how they felt and if they were good for the sub. Maybe one day I will lose this feeling of worry when I take a day, but I doubt it.

I really hope that in a way I never lose it, because when I do it might be time for me to get out of the profession.